It’s hard to find the words to sum up the last 10 years. I don’t know what it is about the 10-year mark, but it feels sort of like the close of one book and the opening of another. Something sort of intrinsic, I guess.
I was thinking today how hard it must have been for Kyle’s parents (and my own, for that matter) to see us get married when we were only 19 and 20. At the time we knew for certain that marriage was what we wanted; how hard was it for our parents to trust our judgement at such a young age? Being a parent now I can understand much more what they must have been feeling, but despite any misgivings they may have had, we never heard anything but support from both sets. We never even got a “are you sure you don’t want to wait?” talk from either of them, which I appreciate. And and the same time, am sort of “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??” haha! Projection of my own early-marriage-of-my-daughters fears, I guess.
Regardless, we beat the statistics and are still going strong 10 years later. Well, 12+ if you count the time we spent dating. 12 years. 10 of marriage. The mind, it boggles.
Our days certainly have changed from when we were first married. Oftentimes I come home after work and I don’t sit down until 9 p.m. Dinner, laundry, dishes, playing, baths, reading, jammies, and – if we’re lucky – an actual adult conversation! The latter doesn’t happen too often these days, but sometimes we will find ourselves on the deck at 9 p.m., drinks in hand, and will proceed to have a 3-hour conversation about any- and everything. Our connectedness ebbs and flows just like any other normal couples’ does, I suppose. The great thing about it is, we never completely lose sight of each other. There are mornings when I get out of the shower and there is a heart written on the mirror that appears when the room gets all steamy. I’ll find my clothes from the dryer folded and laid on my side of the bed. He’ll scrape my windows in the mornings if they’re frosted over. I’ve been met with warm, fresh-out-of-the dryer towels after a shower more times than I can count. So even when we can’t have those deep, heart-to-heart talks, our hearts are still communicating. We find other ways.
I try to think what we used to do in the evenings after work BC (that’s Before Children, ya’ll). Did we make dinner? Go out a lot? Go shopping? Just veg out and watch TV? I don’t even know. All those uninterrupted hours of..quiet? Maybe? Now, our evenings are filled with such things like
grape popsicles eaten unconventionally.
Winks. And inexplicable runny noses.
And a little growling and hurt feelings.
Not to mention, unique places to find a seat.
Gentle hair brushing.
And books before bed.
This is what our nights have turned into. It was a gradual change, as you all know. It didn’t happen as quickly as I would have liked, but it happened when it was supposed to. When the time was perfect for us. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in life, father of my children, husband, lover or best friend. He is simply wonderful.
My better half.
We are better together.